Fifteen years ago, when I completed my master’s degree, I specialized in trauma therapy. At the time, the dominant theoretical approaches were deeply concerned with retraumatization—cautioning therapists against allowing clients to revisit traumatic experiences too intensely. While I understood the logic behind this, it never quite resonated with me. I often wondered where this approach originated and whether it truly served my clients.
The Problem with Avoiding the Story
One of the central concerns in trauma therapy has been that when clients retell their experiences, they risk being pulled back into trauma responses—fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. I witnessed this firsthand. Many clients would speed up their speech, breathe rapidly, or race through their stories, often disconnecting from their bodies. These were all classic avoidance mechanisms.
But this raised a deeper question for me: if we, as therapists, discourage clients from speaking about their trauma or delving too deeply into it, are we simply reinforcing their trauma responses? Avoidance is a survival strategy, but is it healing?
A Different Approach: Telling the Story with Presence
Despite the mainstream guidance at the time, I started encouraging my clients to share their stories. Time and time again, I saw the same response—relief. Clients felt heard, validated, and held. They were able to make sense of their experiences in a way that felt grounding rather than overwhelming.
However, there was one key difference in my approach. I didn’t just let them race through their stories. I interrupted.
I told them exactly what I was doing:
“I want you to slow down. Stay in your body. Stay with your breath.”
I would ask them to feel their feet on the ground, take a deep breath, pause, and continue. Rather than dissociating, I wanted them to stay present with themselves as they told their story.
The Science Behind It: Janina Fisher and Parts Work
Janina Fisher’s work on trauma and parts therapy aligns with what I observed in my clients. She explains that the amygdala—the brain’s fear center—reacts intensely to trauma, while the prefrontal cortex has the capacity to empathize with the wounded self. When we engage both parts of the brain, we can “parent” the traumatized part, offering compassion to the self that experienced the trauma.
In other words, both the trauma and the strength exist within the body simultaneously. When clients slow down and stay present, they allow their wise, compassionate self to comfort the part of them that is still carrying the trauma.
The Moment of Transformation
When I ask clients to pause and take a breath, something profound happens. Many break down in tears.
That protective part—the one that was shielding them from overwhelming emotions—has been in fight-or-flight mode for so long. But in that moment of presence, they realize:
They are no longer in the trauma. They are here, in the present, looking back.
Often, in the moment of trauma, there is no space to feel emotions fully. Survival takes priority. But when a client slows down, feels their body, and stays connected, they can finally access what was frozen in time. They can grieve, process, and integrate their experience in a way that wasn’t possible before.
The Power of Presence in Healing
Trauma therapy is not just about talking—it’s about feeling, about reclaiming the body, about recognizing that the past does not define the present. By slowing down, breathing, and staying connected, clients can begin to heal in a way that feels safe and empowering.
Sometimes, the most radical thing we can do in trauma work is simply to pause.
